I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
