all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
This house was built for laser tag.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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