So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
