You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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