dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
