is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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