he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
