He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize