So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
