Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
