I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she was so not down for the gang bang
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
