Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
