i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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