Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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