I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
