Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
