Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
we should paint friendship bongs
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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