it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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