I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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