sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
