Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
