I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
