Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
