Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize