I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
