May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
