you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
