theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
