i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
