ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Randomize
