you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
