Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
