I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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