just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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