Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
