I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
