Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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