This is not my ceiling
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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