She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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