i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i drank out of a bidet.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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