i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
