well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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