I will die if light touches me.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
