the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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