every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
