If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
tell me about the eggs
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
