I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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