8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
