420 ftw
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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