I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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